A Letter To Me From Me

signed by roxci happilyevergara

I have this habit of writing letters to myself whenever my emotions overwhelm me. This particular one has been relatively constant lately, and it’s one of the areas I feel the most vulnerable in — pregnancy. 

Before I continue, let me address this: no, I’m not pregnant.

Not yet, anyway. 

But not being pregnant doesn’t spare me from these moments.

This blog has always been an outlet for me to release my emotions. It started with my then long distance relationship, then it delved on marriage, and then I decided I wanted more lifestyle content...

Today, I want it to be personal, yet again. 

I know today’s post isn’t something my usual readers are used to.

But today, let me get this off my chest.

A LETTER TO MYSELF FROM MYSELF

Dear Roxci,

I know you’re afraid of getting pregnant.

I know you’re afraid of the entire process, of how your body will go through so much, of how your hormones and your lifestyle will change altogether. 

I know you’re worried because you don’t have the “mom” gene that most of your friends seem to have. The ones who feel so at ease about giving birth, the ones who feel like they were made to be moms.

You don’t have to feel ashamed that you don’t feel the same way.

I know that at times you feel like you aren’t worthy to have a child because you struggle getting your own house in order. There are dirty dishes in the sink, laundry waiting to be folded, meals that still need to be prepped. Oh and you know, that blogger career you’ve got going on. 

And it’s okay. I want you to understand that you will never be ready for anything life throws at you — no matter how hard you try and prepare.

But despite all of this, never think that you aren’t worthy of giving love and of experiencing it. 

You weren’t made to feel inadequate.

You were made to love and be loved. 

Don’t forget. You were made from love. 

Whatever’s meant to be will happen. And it’s scary, and exciting, and it will turn your world upside down. But I hope that you let it.

I pray that you let go of all the things you’re feeling, especially fear. Because at the end of the day, you’re never alone.

Love,

Roxci