Better When Buzzed?

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A buzz will always be welcomed, whether it’s from a drink brimming with caffeine or one too many glasses of sangria or moscato. 

I’m had struggles with coffee before, and friends are witnesses to several self-proclaimed statements of “I’m giving up coffee forever” – which, let’s be honest, don’t really last long. I’ve done the whole tea route, raved about it, but still couldn’t keep myself from coming back. 

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Coffee was my crutch. Maybe it’s the placebo talking, but really, sometimes I’d feel like I could conquer almost anything with a cup in hand.

I started drinking coffee in gradeschool, with the occasional Starbucks frappuccino once every two months. Highschool rolled around and frequent hang outs turned into dates in a cafe – Starbucks yet again. The Java Chip frap was my favorite, even if it’d leave me bits of chocolate stuck between my teeth. 

When college started, that’s when I hit an all time low – or high, however you’d put it. College taught me the saying of how there aren’t enough hours in a day. In between all the deliverables, readings, and finals that professors required, I still had my extracurriculars to think about: musical theatre and freelance writing, both of which I grasped on to for dear life. There was absolutely no chance that I’d give them up.

And so I drank, sipping coffee in classes where it was allowed, buying extras to recharge myself during a rehearsal or before a show. Downing coffee both before and after gym sessions because feeling sluggish made me forget lines, unable to concentrate, and just plain old tired and grumpy. 

Then again, too much coffee, especially on an empty stomach, resulted to trips to the doctor for inflammation and stomach acidity. I’d always leave the doctor’s with a growing list of things I couldn’t eat. Nothing spicy, sour, sweet, and strict orders to stay away from anything that even remotely involved coffee, tea, dairy, soda, and alcohol. I was miserable.

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Now, I’d like to think I’ve come a long way from how I was before. Yes, the daily cup of coffee is still very much alive – sometimes brewed, sometimes bought from a cafe, and sometimes a convenient (and cheap) 3 in 1 pack. I guess, the main difference is how I’ve learned to acknowledge what my body needs before blindly pouring myself another cup. 

For most of my life, I’ve been saying yes to a lot of things, for fear of missing out on opportunities and for ways to avoid awkward situations or signs of conflict. But now I’ve been learning how to say no. And so far, it’s given me so much perspective on the things I now know have more value. 

Personally, I think that life is indeed better when buzzed. The thing is, being buzzed shouldn’t simply be related to something purely artificial. Sometimes being buzzed and enthusiastic comes in a manner of perspective, and in knowing which priorities are of more value. 

Maybe being buzzed just comes in getting to know yourself more…