Ready for 2015!
One of the things I’ve loved about New Years is the idea of hope – hope for a better year, more opportunities to come, and ultimately, for happiness.
As cliche as it may seem, 2014 was an emotional rollercoaster for me. It was a year of anxiety attacks, most of them stemming from unnerving questions that begged to be answered. Certain things and people that I considered my constants were taken away from me in one way or another, and to be honest, it left my grappling to the point that I honestly believe I received my quarter life crisis at the age of 22-23.
If 2013 was what I called a year of surprises, 2014 would have to be the year of independence.
2014 is the year my boyfriend left for the US Navy, and I was made to stand on my own. Him leaving made me realize how grateful I was to have been close to his family and friends, and how happiness was a reflection of my own decisions. I knew that I had to constantly choose happiness to help remind myself that tomorrow was going to be a better day because I was going to think of it in that way.
2014 is also the year when I shifted departments in the company – even if I loved the presence of my then team. This meant so much to me because it was the time I finally took the reigns and said ‘no’ – no, I did not want to continue doing something that I believed wasn’t for me – and 'yes’ – yes, I would finally choose something more inclined to that which I wanted. i know I may have raised a few eyebrows in the process but i don’t regret it, because I finally understood what it meant to think for myself and not to let others dictate your destiny.
Quite honestly, 2014 is the year I learned what true burn out meant. Working 17 hour days sometimes was no easy feat and though I am humbled by all my learnings, I believed that to numb myself with work – to forget the absence of certain people – was not a good solution. This led me to take frequent trips out of town and realize that there was so much more to life than eating lunches at my office desk.
2014 was also the year I had to say “see you later” to my mom, who left for San Francisco late November. Without her around, me and my dad were left to fend for ourselves especially when it came to eating. I can’t count the number of times we’ve had fastfood for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I’m in the process of learning how to cook now because I know that even if desserts have always been my “expertise”, I won’t survive on sugar for the rest of my life.
But with a goodbye came a hello, in the form of my boyfriend’s visit after graduating from US Navy A school. We spent every day together and even had our own private luxury getaway for 3 days. We checked off items in our bucket list like hiking and whale shark watching and even formed our own tradition of dining at The Nest in Alabang – a favorite restaurant of ours ever since he brought me there for my birthday last 2013. In the course of our relationship for 2014, I learned the importance of effort and choices made while in a relationship. Little sacrifices like waking up early or sleeping late just to talk on Facetime or missing parties and certain get togethers to prevent uneasiness are only some of the things we’ve had to go through – and they’ve helped us stay together for a little less than 22 months now.
Lastly, 2014 is the year I decided to take a risk. More on this next time… :)
For now, all I have left to say is thank you, 2014! 2015, if you’re anything like what I’ve read in the online horoscopes – yes, I read those when I’m bored – then I’m extremely excited for you! :)